As you jam the last shell into your battered shotgun, you can hear them outside, moaning and clawing at the door-it won’t be long now. Had you been as short sighted as your fellow survivers you might have spent your last moments in gibbering horror, but instead, you’ll go into the great beyond with a grin on your face! That’s because you had the foresight to load the Zombie ABC’s onto you phone before the apocalypse hit. While your companions are soiling themselves in terror, you’ll be spending your last moment chuckling your way through the alphabet! Way to think ahead, Bob!

Be like Bob and get the Zombie ABC’s before it’s too late!

Only 2.99 from Amazon or with sound from the iTunes store for $1.99.

You can’t deny it any longer. The squirrel with the glowing orbs giving you the stink eye, the weirder than the usual behavior of you co-workers-it’s beyond dispute—the ET’s are among us! With their super smarts and advanced technologies, it seems a foregone conclusion that these alien brainiacs will conquer Earth and enslave the survivors. But there’s still a chance for you to prove that you’re smarter than these intergalactic eggheads and give yourself a fighting chance to save yourself and the planet! All you have to do is download a copy of Alien Invasion ABC’s to get the straight poop on what these galaxy hopping Nazis are up to but don’t delay, do it before it’s too late and they snatch your brain too!

Only 2.99 from Amazon or with sound from the iTunes store for only $1.99.

The Poet as a Young Man

Ever since he was a wee scribbler composing his first Mothers Day poem in the first grade, Jeff Albrecht has seen himself as an heir to the noble tradition of the great Romantic poets. Unfortunately, as he grew older life threw roadblocks into the path of the young sonneteer. For you see while Jeff had a keen sense of rhythm and rhyme, the mysterious social dance of his fellow teenagers was a deep, dark mystery to him, and in high school, our young poet repeatedly took a beating for speaking with a fake English accent and wearing a red beret. Those incidents scarred him to such an extent that he decided it might be safer for him to change course and apply himself to the tradition of the great comic book inkers. So he snatched up a Windsor-Newton and proceeded to dazzle the plebs at school with his black and white renditions, attaining the previously unimaginable status of ‘cool kid.’ Upon graduation, Jeff turned his awesome talents loose on professional comics and soon became one of the most sought after superhero inkers in the biz.

But as time went on the artist inside Jeff yearned for more and he began to question if becoming the heir apparent to the great Joe Sinnott was his true path through life. It was at this critical point in his artistic development that I meet Jeff, and together we jettisoned the comic book world and formed a partnership which blazed a daring path in the publishing and commercial art world. But as more time elapsed and despite all the awards and accolades Jeff received, I always suspected that he retained more than a bit of that wee Jeffy who still yearned to soar on the wings of poetry. So it came as no surprise to me when one day he approached me, with tears in his eyes, and asked if I would be interested in illustrating a couple of books of his modern verse-books which he claimed would change the course of literature forever-what could I say?

These books became Zombie ABCs and Alien Invasion ABCs, and the rest, as we poetry lovers like to say- is histoire…

Be the first to wow your friends with your high culture status before these poems become so widely praised on the hip YouTube vblogs and discussed ad nauseam on all the better blogs, that they become passé. And, don’t be surprised one day (if your children attend one of the better schools), your budding poet comes home excitedly reciting a stanza to the undead or an ode to an ET.